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Giving your children the best parenting possible after divorce

Divorce doesn’t change the fact that you love your children. Every parent wants the best for their kids. However, divorce complicates parenting. For one thing, children are more likely to thrive with involvement from both parents. Further, parents should be unified in their approach to discipline and other child-rearing issues. When parents are divorced, they face tremendous challenges in these regards when trying to raise their children.

How can you make sure you are giving your children the best parenting possible? Quality parenting after divorce requires some focus, planning and real effort, but it is possible.

Avoid a Contentious Divorce

One of the biggest challenges to co-parenting well after a divorce is the divorce process. Too often spouses go into court like warriors trying to do as much damage to each other as possible. It only makes sense that they face serious problems trying to work together as co-parents after this type of divorce.

It is much better to use mediation or other methods of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) in your divorce. This type of approach will minimize stress and allow you to work together to create a parenting plan that will work for both parents and your children.

Commit to Working Together

Although you probably don’t want to spend a lot of time with the person you just divorced, communication is critical to your success as co-parents. Make sure you:

  • Communicate: Whenever there is a change in plans, if you’re running late to pick up the child or similar issues arise, make sure you call. Communicating well together will minimize stress and resentment and it will help you make sure your kids are always being cared for well.
  • Plan together: It is important for you and your ex-spouse to be on the same page with the big issues. Where will your child go to school? How will you handle various behavioral issues? How will you handle medical issues? Where will your child spend holidays? Discussing these issues with some regularity will help you provide exceptional parenting for your child.
  • Speak well of your ex-spouse in front of the children: One of the worst things a divorced parent can do is to speak badly of the ex-spouse in front of the kids. This creates confusion and instability for them and undermines the other parent’s authority. If you are unable to speak well about your ex-spouse, at least commit to not speaking badly.

Take Time

Most divorced parents have a harder time finding the time to be with their kids. Plan small trips and events during the times when you have custody. Make sure you are eating meals together, playing together and really enjoying each other’s company.

There is nothing more important to a parent than their children, so make sure you are doing everything possible to give your child the best loving care you can.

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