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Do you owe an 'apology' to divorce?

When you were a child, a teen or perhaps a younger adult, you may have perceived divorce in a distinctly negative light. You may have thought that individuals who choose to divorce are “quitters” or are individuals who should have never married in the first place. Now that you have married and are perhaps considering a divorce, you may be reforming your earlier perceptions.

Most significant life experiences require some sort of faith and trust. When individuals apply to college, they trust that they will be able to complete their degrees and will be able to find employment after they have done so. When individuals choose to become parents, they trust that they will be able to serve their children’s best interests. When individuals marry, they generally trust that their marriages will survive for better and for worse.

In reality, many individuals must eventually drop out of college for various reasons. Many parents stumble during their quest to serve the best interests of their children. And many marriages ultimately end in divorce. These outcomes do not devalue the process of having taken an initial leap of faith and trust. Simply because a life experience does not turn out the way that one plans does not make that life experience less valuable.

If you are willing to learn from your marriage and to allow those lessons to enhance your future life and wellbeing, your marriage was not undertaken in vain. Similarly, you have no reason to perceive your divorce as a failure or yourself as a quitter if you remain committed to learning from your experience and moving forward in healthy ways.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Dear Divorce,” Abby King, March 24, 2015

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