Studies have shown that the honeymoon bliss for many couples barely wears off before the reality of marriage sets in. Your spouse’s cute habits can become annoying, and the starkness of adjusting to considering someone else’s needs besides your own can be quite overwhelming for many! Don’t lose heart, however.
Studies also show that couples who have been married for 40 years or longer have the highest rate of marital satisfaction. You don’t have to wait that long, though, to be happily married. The first several years can be hard, but as you adjust to the normalcies of your married relationship, you can find marital happiness much sooner if don’t make these common mistakes of newlyweds.
1. Avoiding financial discussions. Money issues are one of, if not THE top reason that couples get divorced. Rightly so, because money is a difficult subject to talk about, especially if you and your spouse have different views about money. With that in mind, don’t put off discussing money!
Putting together a financial plan or budget that you both agree on, especially if you have debt, can be a great way to reduce the stress that comes along with your newly joint financial situation.
2. Sweating the small stuff. You’ve heard the saying “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Well, that saying applies especially to married couples! Every married couple has fights over silly stuff, but if you continually fight over the petty, minor issues such as leaving dirty laundry on the floor instead of in the hamper, you’ll probably find that you spend too much time arguing with your spouse and not enjoying your newly married life! Do yourself and your marriage a favor, and don’t make an issue over the small irritants. Save your arguments for the stuff that really matters!
3. Starting off on the wrong foot with the in-laws. Some studies have shown that nearly 50% of people have problems with their in-laws. Unfortunately, having a bad relationship with your in-laws can lead to having major issues in your marriage. We suggest that you do everything you can to establish or repair your relationship with the in-laws, even if you feel they are the ones “in the wrong”. Because in the end, your spouse is the one who feels caught in the middle, and hurt feelings for both of you will occur if you can’t be on civil grounds with your in-laws.
4. Not enough sex. This one may be hard to believe, but even newlyweds can fall into a sexual rut. The key to this one is to make time for intimacy. Everyone has busy schedules, but don’t let intimacy fall by the wayside. This is an especially important factor for men. Men report having the most unhappiness about their sex life with their spouse, and many men need intimacy to connect with their spouse.
5. Losing yourself in the relationship. When you get married, it can be easy to give up all those activities you enjoyed when you were single. Whether it’s a girls night out or a favorite hobby such as biking, don’t give up what you love and don’t give up spending time with your friends just because you’re married. Of course, it’s important to strike a balance. But having alone time as well as time away from your spouse with friends will contribute not only to your overall mental health, but to the health of your relationship. As the saying goes “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Even if you’re not a newlywed, you can implement these tips in your marriage. Making positive changes and steps in the right direction can truly alter the course of your marriage!